A Kindred spirit I've found. Soft, gentle eyes of darkest brown betray the torment within. To be alone with you, if only for a moment- to see inside the man who’s dark, haunting, incredibly beautiful poetry soothes my soul when put to song. To hold him in my arms would feel good- we are two souls- connected, tortured, haunted by the darkness of the world around us. Writing about it, keeps it at bay - his voice, encapsulating the thoughts of us unbalanced ones that hang by a thin thread - our demons, leashed, kept near enough to pull out and examine and then put away...
We’re beautifully broken creatures covered with minuscule fractures that threaten to form deep fissures and crumble apart if the balance is leavened. Eyes wide shut, not letting go, tripping over tongues that lie wagging at our feet. Hiding in shadows, stealing away to the darkest corners to avoid finding what truth lies within; thinking too much in regards to negative things.
Sharpened knives, cutting sins left and right are the high and mighty in fortresses that promise forgiveness, but exculpate no one. Gossipers, spreading untruths- how could they know what we feel, what we share… Our spirits are bound, woven together with words of pain and sorrow, hope and faith, yet, no absolution from our tortured existence lies within reach.
A Pagan of the flesh, I’m only human. Human’s - heathens all, sacrifices the ‘needy’ for the ‘holier than thou’ that fill the pews.
Let the rituals begin. I’ll give God my life; I’ll give you my life- we can hold back the river- Runaway- Dress our selves in the affectation of who we want to be… We’ll hold each other until distant days have passed, until- until what… until the sun breaks to push aside the darkness?
A fever-pitch of emotions flow through me… sickness- thoughts, tossed this way and that. An inferno in this hell-hole we call reality; reality sucks.
When my time comes around they’ll lay me gently beneath the cold, dark ground- but no grave will hold my body down, I’ll rise back to earth. Pushed through the ground as a tiny green tendril that climbs upward to grasp the vessel that holds your essence trapped, frapped within an earthly embodiment…
I want to look into those deep, brown eyes, drift into the flames and away from the nothingness that lies outside my personal bubble… I want to taste your tender rosebud mouth and gently caress your mind with dull, delusional thoughts of happiness… alas, I cannot. Staring into a firestorm, whose passionate prose seeps deep into my soul, I can barely tear my eyes away- I do not want to look away. Damn your eyes; they take my breath away. I want to get lost in them and stay there forever, even though loves perfect ache, would be sullied by the ash of sin…
If only I could be the voice that sung inside your head when you were a child, I’d keep those that screamed, at bay. But then, again, maybe not… We’re kindred spirits- it’s your tortured soul and untamed demons that draws me to you…
© 16 Jul 2015 Susan Cobb Beck aka Lila Beckham
